Late one night this past week my husband wanted me to bake some chocolate chip cookies for him. He stayed in the kitchen with me while I mixed the cookies and got everything ready to bake. We were talking and joking around, having a good time. I put the cookie dough on the pan and stuck them in the oven.
Sometime later, I start to smell something… smells like something is melting or burning. I run back into the kitchen, open the stove and see exactly what’s going on. Ugh! I accidentally put wax paper instead of parchment paper on the pan and it was starting to smoke! I had to take them out and start over.
My husband had distracted me with good conversation, and I hadn’t even realized it. Geez haha!
When the Smoke Starts to Rise
This reminds me of the many times I have been distracted in my life. Just running through life, doing my own thing, having fun, not thinking about consequences or how my decisions could affect other people in my life. And then…BAM! All hell breaks loose. Everything starts to crumble and falls apart. “You start to smell the smoke”.
I felt like my whole life was spinning out of control. I started to see all the wrong decisions I had made and all the chaos I had caused in my life and in the lives of others around me. In those moments I started to hate myself. I was embarrassed by the decisions I had made. I said some really hateful things to myself, wanting to hurt myself.
Have you ever been here?… where you find yourself sitting alone, on your bathroom floor, crying your eyes out, looking at all your life decisions and think… Who even are you anymore??
I lost who “I” was as a person. I didn’t even recognize myself. I had lost my identity.
Life sucks so bad sometimes that we distract ourselves from the pain and disappointments of life with any and everything.
Safe Under His Wings
But you know what? Through all that, God still protected me. Even though I denied Him and really didn’t want much to do with Him, because I was having a “good time”, He still protected me.
I look back and see all the times that some really bad things could have happened to me, and I see how God protected me through it all!
He is our Protector
Even when bad things happened to us, even when we cause chaos in our own lives. He helps us through it… One step at a time, he walks with you… He carries you… He heals your broken heart and wounds.
Remember… He is our Protector and Healer. It’s never too late to call on Him. Nothing too big or too small for God!
Through this process of life, I’ve learned that it’s ok to say I’m wrong and I really messed up. I’ve learned, that It’s ok to apologize and to own my mistakes. It helps with the healing process in my own heart. I’ve also learned, that when I apologize to the people who I’ve hurt in the process of my mistakes, it helps heal the brokenness that I caused in their lives. God starts to break down those walls and healing begins.
Healing and restoration are always available. We just have to put in the work, and God will do the rest.
Also, it’s ok to change your mind. Sometimes we think a certain way and then God opens our eyes and reveals the truth to us. Sometimes we are so deceived or so stubborn that the truth is blurred. It’s hard to tell what’s right and what’s wrong. It’s ok to be confused and not sure. This is when we need to call out to God and say, God! If you are who you say you are, please! show me the truth. Take this pain away! And take away the pain I have caused others. This world is so confusing. I need help, I need direction, I need guidance, and I need a Protector.
The Heart That Wants Full Access
Our Heavenly Father wants nothing more than to cover us with His wings and protect us. He loves us so immensely. Nothing like we have ever experienced before in this life. But because He is a gentleman, he would never push himself on us. He waits for us to open the door and call out to Him.
I had closed the door to God so many times in my life. But I thought it was ok… I didn’t close it all the way, I mean, I left a little crack in the door for him. Isn’t that enough? Look I had plans and I had a life to enjoy. At times I wanted to figure it out and make it work for myself. So I left a little room in my life for Him.
But that’s not how this works. It seemed, that I only wanted a little bit of His protections, a little bit of his guidance. You know, like, “I only need God when life gets bad”. Since I only left a small crack in the door for Him… Since I only left a little room in my life for Him… No! Throw open that door and cry out to Him. Break that door down! And say “I will give you full access! I need your protection and guidance ALL the time, not just a little crack”. He wants your whole heart.
Think about it like this… What if, you had a really close friend that you loved hanging out with… your best friend. But you noticed that they didn’t want you around as much anymore. They seemed to always be busy. Then you noticed that they really didn’t want you around at all-oh yeah, except when life gets hard… they were desperate to get your attention, and they needed your shoulder to cry on. They call you crying, asking, “Why don’t you even care about me anymore, why don’t you want to be here for me. You say we are best friends, but you aren’t here for me when life gets bad”.
How would that make you feel. I’d feel like they were just using me, to help clean up their mess. It would make me feel like trash, unloved….
And this is how we feel and talk about God. “God, you say you love me, but where are you when life got bad?! God why don’t I ever hear from you?! God why didn’t you keep these bad things from happening to me?! If you were real, my life wouldn’t be like this!”
God replies: “I’m right here my child! I’ve been right here the whole time waiting for you, but you don’t recognize my voice, you don’t recognize my touch, you don’t recognize my presence anymore, because you’ve been away for so long.
God says; Remember I tried telling you not to go to that thing, but you were having such a good time with your friends and you ignored me. Remember when I warned you not to talk to that person or hang out with those people because it would cause so much pain and trouble later on in your life. But you didn’t even want to listen or hear me out. You completely ignored me.
God says; You don’t remember when I made you feel like that was a bad idea?! Remember you literally closed the door in my face and said, “I don’t care, this is my life!, I only live once, I just want to have fun, I just want to be loved by someone, even if it’s a bad decision.
God says; I tried, but you couldn’t hear me with the door closed. But I’m still here! I’m still calling out to you! I’ll be your healer and your protector my child, all you have to do is open the door.”
An Uplifting Song for Your Journey
To remind you that you never have to stay stuck in the smoke or face the quiet, overwhelming questions of your heart alone, take a few moments to listen to this comforting song. Let it remind you that you are fully seen, deeply known, and cherished by a Father who never walks away:
Click Here to Listen to “There’s A God” by Mary-Clair
Let’s Connect and Pray
Scripture reminds us in Psalm 91:4, “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge.” No matter how messy the smoke gets, trust that your Protector is holding you close.
Prayer: Heavenly Father guide us to you. Uncover our eyes so we won’t be deceived and distracted.God, sometimes it’s hard to trust, help us to remember that we can always trust in you, because you will never fail us. Help me to trust in you. Heal our wounds and scars. Pull us out of those bad situations and guide us to a safe place. Cover us with your wings, Hold us in your arms, Cover us in your love.
…Because you are Our Protector
Please know you don’t have to carry the weights or choices of the past alone. If you are sitting on the bathroom floor today or trying to clear out the smoke of a distraction, feel free to leave a comment below or reply privately. I keep my prayer journal close by, and I would love to tuck your name in there and pray over you this week.
With love, Frenchy ❤️
🙌🙌🙌 Wonderful💝 Thanks for sharing ✝️💯
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